Serenity Counseling & Consulting Services

Stephanie C. Johnson MA, LPC

Anger is a tricky emotion, difficult to use well until you learn how. It is a real help, though, as long as you don’t get trapped in any of the anger styles we’ve introduced here. People who use anger well have a healthy or “normal” relationship with their anger. They think about anger in the following characteristic ways:

 

 
  • Anger is treated as a normal part of life.
 
  • Anger is an accurate signal of real problems in a person’s life.
 
  • Angry actions are screened carefully; you needn’t automatically get angry just because you could.
 
  • Anger is expressed in moderation so there is no loss of control.
 
  • The goal is to solve problems, not just to express anger.
 
  • Anger is clearly stated in ways that others can understand.
 
  • Anger is temporary. It can be relinquished once an issue is resolved.

 

Anger is a common emotion. 

Most people encounter angry feelings of varying intensity every day, often many times a day. How, or if, this emotion is    expressed may differ from person to person or situation to situation. Some people    spontaneously blurt out their angry feelings.   Others hide their anger behind a forced smile while plotting revenge.  Since anger is such a common emotional experience, the ability to recognize it in others and respond to it  effectively is a skill that can produce rich dividends in all your relationships.  Unfortunately this skill is seldom taught.